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[sechan19]

I went and picked my mother up from the hospital this morning at a quarter after one. Grammy finally passed. Considering that the nurses were commenting that they'd seen patients in her condition last for weeks, I think that we were all spared a tremendous burden. I miss my grandmother. At the same time, I'm relieved by her death and thankful for this chance to put all the vileness of her personal character behind me; to move beyond the slights and cruelties to a place where I can remember her fondly and remember the times when she was clear and loving to me. The times I was able to draw strength from her conversation and advice, the times she found the gift that was perfectly me and made me feel special, the times she offered her help without reservation and without strings. Not the times she got drunk and called me filthy names no five-year-old should ever have to hear, nor the times she hit on the guy in high school that I was crushing on, nor the times she spat her venom at my aunt and uncle, my mother, my cousins, myself, and my friends. But rather the times she was like this.

And I hope that her next life is kinder; that her next path is more rewarding to her. It's hard to believe she's gone. But she is.

Thank god.

Comments

[unapperent.livejournal.com]

I'm happy to hear her time in the hospital was short.
I full-well understand how painful it is to see it dragged out.

I'm sorry that she is gone - but I think you are right.
It will allow all to heal, and make the good times more clear.

If you need me - just pick up the phone.
Or text - I seem to do better with that ;-P

'sides, we do have a lesson to work on - if you need to get your mind off of things. =)

[samsamsamantha.livejournal.com]

I understand the mixed feelings. My uncle Chance died this past week, and while I hadn't seen him in a while, I had a bitter sweet feeling about it myself. I'm glad my aunt and cousins no longer had to watch him forget them. I'm glad he can no longer be an ass.. but I found out new information about his brain injury that makes me really sad both for him and for me, because I wasn't able to find and understand what happened in his life and what made him who he was until he had past.

Anyways, if you need a friend to commiserate with or you need anything, I'm here. Try my cell or email. Those are the best ways to geta hold of me right now. *hugs*