Twilight: The Official Verdict.

[sechan19]

Basically:

• As funny when I'm sober as it is when I'm drunk.
• Without question, one of the worst movies ever made.
• A party favorite; the film itself has no intrinsic value, but the act of watching it with friends (MST3K-style) is seriously good for the soul, and I would do it again.

More specifically:

• Jasper's hair is going to kill someone if it doesn't get laid soon.
• Bella Swan's dad still reminds me of my dad, and I like him for that reason.  He's pretty much the only character in the story that even vaguely approaches an honest portrayal of an actual human being.
• What the hell was up with that wolf-natives vs. vampire-ancestors flashback?  There were like three different centuries worth of fashion going on there (jodhpurs, people... jodhpurs); and the natives were wearing painted wolf caps, yo.  I mean, seriously.  Sepia does not automatically make everything okay.
• Romantic conversation can only happen in a tree.  Logistics; schmogistics.
• Cinematography = good; dialogue = bad.  Delivery of said dialogue = super bad.  (Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto.)
• Forks, WA is a real place... who knew?